Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan
Age 50
Date of Birth February 17, 1963
Gender Male
Species Human
Stage The Gym
Unlockable Costume Superjordan
Rival Shrek
Friend Trash Can Demo

Micheal Jordan LOVES Golf. He is also a master soccer player. He also plays basketball... What a cigarette. He's also black but acts like a giraffe. Occasionally, he he goes on aquarium-robbing sprees to build his army. What is the army for? Nobody knows.

How He Became a MemeEdit

He got so pissed because of his period that he started putting everyone off his list of friends. The family just laughed and said "HA! YOU HAVE A HEADIG!" This made Jordan SO pissed that he added them to his shitlist. However, the Family just laughed.


Moveset by Cammy

Neutral Ground AttacksEdit

Neutral Attack - Michael throws a downwards hook with his left hand while holding his basketball in his right hand, then performs a very fast roundhouse kick, and concludes by forcefully throwing his basketball at the ground and catching it as it bounces back up. The basketball slam has decent KO power. 1%, 3%, 7%. 11% total.

Side Tilt - Michael hops up and performs a fast spinning heel kick. 6%.

Up Tilt - Michael swats the air with the back of his hand in a quick arc above his head. 3%.

Down Tilt - Michael throws a quick uppercut while crouching. 5%.

Dash Attack - Michael hops up and performs a butterfly kick out of his run. Hits twice. Relatively fast for a dash attack. 2%, 7%. 9% total.

Smash AttacksEdit

Side Smash - Michael throws his basketball forwards. It bounces off the ground and back at him about 2 character lengths in front of him, and he catches it. 12% as the ball flies, 16%. as it hits the ground.

Up Smash - Michael performs a quick flip kick, hitting in front of and above himself. 14%.

Down Smash - Michael assumes a lower stance and spreads his legs apart, then punches his basketball so that it goes between his legs, punching it again on the other side, and then catching it, effectively punching on both sides of himself. Extremely fast. 10%.

Aerial AttacksEdit

Neutral Aerial - Michael holds his basketball between his feet, then performs a quick backflip, hitting all around himself with his basketball. 13% towards the beginning, 8% for the remainder of the move.

Forward Aerial - Michael performs a quick dropkick, hitting in front of himself. 6%.

Back Aerial - Michael faces away from the screen, then performs an uppercut to the area behind him. 5%.

Up Aerial - Michael places his basketball on his finger, then holds his finger above his head and spins his basketball. Hits 7 times. 2% for hits 1-6, 3% for hit 7. 15% total.

Down Aerial - Michael performs several kicks beneath himself, alternating between his legs as if pedaling a bicycle. Hits 5 times. 2%, 3%, 2%, 3%, 5%. 15% total.

Grab AttacksEdit

Grab - Michael reaches forward with one hand. Very short-ranged and rather punishable.

Pummel - Michael knees the grabbed opponent. A moderate speed pummel. 1%.

Forward Throw - Michael performs a downwards hook, knocking the opponent forward. 5%.

Back Throw - Michael weakly tosses the enemy behind him. 2%.

Up Throw - Michael throws the enemy upwards, then follows up by throwing his basketball at them. He catches his basketball as it rebounds. 4%, 6%. 10% total.

Down Throw - Michael picks the enemy up, then throws them straight down. A weak meteor smash. 5%.

Recovery AttacksEdit

Floor Attack - Michael performs a sweeping kick on both sides. 5%.

Ledge Attack - Michael climbs up onto the stage and performs a very fast uppercut. 3%.

Special AttacksEdit

Neutral Special - Baller’s Pass - Michael jumps up a very short distance and throws his basketball as if he’s passing it. It moves very fast, and if it hits an opponent, it will rebound off of them, dealing 8%. If Michael intercepts the ball as it flies, then he will catch it and be powered up in damage and knockback by 1.4x for the following 8 seconds. This effect does not stack. The ball is affected by gravity. The ball despawns if it hits the ground or passes a blast line. While the ball is in flight, Michael can not use any move that uses his basketball (including the 3rd hit of his jab, side smash, down smash, neutral aerial, up aerial, up throw, Baller’s Pass, and Angelic Dribble).

Neutral Special (Maximum Overslam Mode) - Dunk of Judgement - Only usable when the Maximum Overslam meter is filled, which is filled by either receiving 120% damage or giving 160% in a single life. When it is filled, Baller’s Pass is replaced by Michael Jordan grabbing the opponent with his left hand flaming and his right hand coated in an icy aura, then lifting them up and slam dunking them into the ground, dealing 46% with extreme knockback, which is executed in slow motion with the camera twisting around Michael as he performs the maneuver. However, afterwards, the Maximum Overslam meter is emptied.

Side Special - Tatsumaki Slamjamyu - Michael leaps up and then performs a series of roundhouse kicks. He is able to move left and right while doing the move or simply stay still. He can not fall off ledges while using it. Hits 10 times for 2% each. 20% total. The aerial version travels a shorter distance and leaves him helpless when it’s finished.

Up Special - Decisive Leap - Michael leaps up with his free hand outstretched. He moves a moderate distance diagonally upwards, and curves horizontally towards the end of his ascent, before becoming helpless. If he makes contact with an opponent, then he grabs them, making the move a specialized grab. If he grabs an opponent, then, he falls straight down with them below him. If he makes contact with the ground, then the opponent is dealt 14% and knocked upwards, with Michael jumping backwards.

Down Special - Angelic Dribble - Michael bends down slightly and dribbles his basketball for up to 5 seconds. After the first second of dribbling, he begins to heal at a rate of 3% per second, meaning he can heal up to 12% with the move. The move can only be cancelled after at least 2.5 seconds, and if hit during the move, Michael will take 1.35x the damage and knockback he would normally take.

Final Smash - THE ULTIMATE SLAM DUNK - Michael grabs all of his enemies and stuffs them into a basketball. Then, a huge satanic basketball goal made of obsidian and magma erupts from the ground, and Michael Jordan stares at it fiercely. Then he runs at it and leaps up, ready to slam dunk it, before his arms burst into flames, and he starts flying upwards, chasing the goal into space. On their way there, Michael breaks the sound barrier, causing a sonic boom as he rushes upwards before turning into a human fireball. Then, as he dashes through space, a group of small comets rush around him and twist around his body, giving him an icy aura while he accumulates even more power, causing an explosion of light, sucking the darkness from space and turning it white, with all the galaxies swirling around him. Michael Jordan calls upon the power of the cosmos, absorbing the galaxies, and kicks the demonic goal down to earth with his newfound power. After that, he dives downwards, moving at ferocious speeds while flaming, with the comets and galaxies following him, while also gathering up numerous asteroids, stars, and other celestial bodies to follow him. Michael reaches maximum power and causes an enormous mushroom cloud of light as he bolts downwards, slam-dunking the basketball (with the enemies inside) into the demonic hoop, causing the hoop to crumble and explode into dust. An enormous flaming inferno is seen, and the camera pans to show earth exploding, and then a huge beam of light appearing in the Milky Way Galaxy that originates from the planet’s explosion, and all opponents’ damage gauges are instantly maxed out to 999% and they are KOd, ending the move.

Palette SwapsEdit

Default - Michael has a black, red, and white jersey, black and white shorts, a red armband, and an orange basketball.

Red - Michael has a red, dark yellow, and black jersey, red and black shorts, a black armband, and a dark red basketball.

Blue - Michael has a navy, silver, and white jersey, navy and silver shorts, a red armband, and a navy basketball.

Green - Michael has an apple green, blue, and white jersey, apple green and white shorts, a red armband, and an apple green basketball.

Other 1 - Michael has a crimson, black, and yellow jersey, crimson and yellow shorts, a white armband, and a black basketball.

Other 2 - Michael has a teal, black, and white jersey, teal and white shorts, a teal armband, and a white basketball.

Unlockable - Superjordan - Michael wears Superman’s iconic getup, and his basketball is blue with the Superman logo on it.

The Gaming Family All-Whores Randallist RoyaleEdit

He is here to kick ass and chew ASS! But he's all out of Ghost Pokémon. This made him pissed, this game is off the fucking list. He is unlocked by playing as a black guy 8 times IN ROW!

Role in StoryEdit

Micheal is a strong and independant black woman who LOVES the Will U. For a living he plays basketball and talk to Barney on facebook. One day while browsing through Teletubbies memes on Facebook, someone added him... Jordan got scired and pissed at the same time. It was the gay motherfucker he met at the game yesterday... Shrek Shrekson. "Dis nigga really wanna kiss, huh? Well HE CAN KISS MY AYUS!" He accepted the request and sent Shrek a message saying "I will find you, and I will kill you." He then deleted Shrek off his friends list because he was SO pissed and started masturbating to KFC Hentai. The next day he got an EMail. It was the ogre. Micheal got so pissed that he went to take a shit in the urinal then continued to watch Teletubbies on YouTube. The next day the ogre sent him a message on YouTube. Micheal got so fucking pissed like no list ever before. "dis nigga spam everyting from teh car to my Will U. He WILL FUKING DAI!" You can tell Jordan's pissed by that line.


  • There is a theory going around that Michael Jordan is the true Dreck. Terrifying.
Playable Characters in ALL-WHORES

Nerdy Randall · Stelios and Mudkeep · Mr. Weird · Senator Armstrong · Kunkes · Squidward · Will Smith · Tyrone · Professional Brawl Player Moox · Fucksy · Nope, Ducklett · Shrek · Steve Grim · Pumkin · Jimbles Notronbo · Ellie · Tyson Bandard · Joof the Syrup God · Woody · Waluigi · Knight Solaire · Sensei · Stupid Awal · VideoGameDunkey

Unlockable ~ Original 46

Sliver · Terry and Terri · Plankton · Mr. Sleep · Chandle-Lure · Phil Dicks · ICarly · Diet Soda Girl · Raymond · Ned Flanders · Octodad · Pizza Party Man · Dicksy · Laura · Ninjabored Man · Croagunk · Kermit · Dr. Keroro · Ooblar · Coppercab · PaRappa · Cool Guy · Michael Jordan · Meganman 2.0 · Microwave Man · Reggiemin · SammyClassicSonicFan · Ollie · Hades · Necrophone

Unlockable ~ Snizzity Summer Update

Dio · Sahar40021 · Tamama · Waldo · Russell Grant · Gavin Young · Wolf · Gasshu · Jimmy Nutrin · Sebasatan Tute · Jin · Mack the Knife · Dex Dogtective · Teddie · Lilly Satou · Shun Kodori · Spodermen · Theevan · Freddie Benson · Valkyrie · Jessica · Benjamin Franklin · Spud · The Last of Us Black Guy · Zed · Burger King Stormtrooper · Kira · Glasses Sex Guy · Burner Man · The Mythsters · Vashyron · Princess Cammy · Johney Young Vosh · Troy Beaker · Espurr · Mitt Romney · Frosty · Hooker in Church · Fred Fuckstone · Newcastlemhull · Pinkamena · Trash Can Demo · Kevig · Sex God Iván · Riley · Coldsteel · Meta Pennis

Unlockable ~ Fuckin' Fall Update

Freddy Fazbear · Henry · Junpei Iori · Ike · Wesker · Vert · Lewis Legend · Yang Xiao Long · Stan Marsh · Rin Tezuka · Mike · Reyn · Coffee Table · Nikshaker · Snorksbob · Spoopyman · Inigo · Bad Box Art Mega Man · Chrom · Masktaster · Cap'n Crunch · Klonoa · Rise Kujikawa · Slayer the Gnome Child · Tommy Wiseau · Midna · Doctor Doom · Isaac Dian · Gay Fullbutt · Lanky Kong · Makoto · Pichu · Vinny · Joel · Isabelly · Sir Topham Hatt · The Chin · Fast Old Manondorf · Ultimateguy97 · Roy

Unlockable ~ Wang-Whacker Winter Update

Leon · Homing Snaper · Toadsworth · Gandhi · Alucard · Split Mushroom · Archie · Maxie · John Cener · Kouya Aotsuki · Jotaro · Falco · Sheng Hua Nan · Super-Skrull · Abraham Lincoln · R.O.B. · Zero · Lucas · Dan the Duck · xXx_rude_xXx · Vanilla Gajeel · Hank Hill · Eevee · Regice · Hitler · Aces · Captain Falcon · Mega Lopunny · Rowen · Shaggy · Jinx · Ruby Rose · Wankface